We gotta stop with the all or nothing mentality.

The way out of disordered eating, binge eating, depression, anxiety or really any problem is not by being perfect. We all know the strive for perfectionism will simply keep us stuck in the mentality that we must live all in or not at all. This mentality is part of the reason we struggle with disordered eating in the first place.

The literature is pretty clear that those with disordered eating, especially binge eating, tend to have very low self-esteem. I know, low self-esteem, how cliche of us. Nonetheless those of us who struggle with low self-esteem feel unworthy of experiencing what is ultimately best for us, we feel unworthy of love. When we do not live up to the, "all side of the coin," we turn on ourselves, destroy ourselves, sabotage from the inside out. We take on the mindset..."I will be worthy of joy when I am perfect again...I will wear an outfit that makes me feel confident when I am skinny again...I will wear makeup when my face glows so much someone staring me in the face can see their own reflection." We wait to live again only once perfect is met and in the meantime we hide, isolate and grow depressed in our dark rooms. When we find ourselves needing to leave the house we deem ourselves only worthy of wearing the baggiest sweatpants and sweatshirts.

We live thinking, "I am never going to achieve 25 % body fat, thus I might as well not go to the gym...I am never going to be a marathon runner so who am I to run at all and I'll never be able to consistently eat healthy so why do so now."

If a loved one heard you talking like this what would they think ?

They would think, “you can be fluffy, puffy, heavy and without an ounce of muscle and still go and experience a post workout endorphin high.” You are worthy of that even if you never hit your goals!

You cannot hate yourself out of disordered eating or depression, you have to love yourself out of it. Not self-absorption type of love. Not I gotta crush on a boy type of love. The I am worthy of willing my own good and doing what is ultimately best for me, regardless of what I have done or have failed to do, type of perfect love.

Put the outfit on, wear the makeup, get out there and feel the best you possibly can in the body that you're currently sitting in and from there you will positively spiral upward out of your problems. Joy has to exist now because tomorrow is not promised.